Incredible piece, but I hate HATE that grief hits out of nowhere sometimes. I’ve had no choice but to say “sup?!” to it some mornings, and just let the tears do their thing. Thanks for being vulnerable with us and capturing really the weight that so many of us feel even if it’s behind a “vibe.” ✨
This piece evoked so much memory and emotion! I often call my inner circle friends “my greatest intangible treasure.” Your words capture the essence of WHY I feel that way.
The things my friends did in the wake of my father’s death were so unimaginably generous, I find it hard to believe and I lived it in real time. This piece was a beautiful reminder!
Writing for me sometimes entails tons of crying. Just now, reading your piece made me reach for the Kleenex.
When my dad died, I touched down at LaGuardia, turned on my phone and had multiple urgent messages telling me to “come now” — only I’m on the tarmac in NY and live in GA.
My childhood bestie is a physician married to a mortician. When I got the call a few hrs later that he was gone, she said: Do not try to fly back home. He’s gone now. Move forward with your plans. Return in 2 days on the flight you booked. We got this!
And then she texted me a pic of a coffin. My dad was an alpha phi alpha. And it was a black and gold coffin. She told me she got it two weeks prior. Her dad and mine were college friends, so she’s known him her whole life
Her husband took care of getting my dad’s body. They took care of all funeral arrangements. And to this day have not let me pay them for any of it. I kid you not!
And on the day of the service I walked in and lost it, as if buying a casket wasn’t enough, she’d had it engraved in gold with the Greek letters alpha phi alpha and had created a tribute of massive posters on easels that showcased his love of music and Tuskegee University
Now I’m sitting and crying again as thumb type, just remembering it all.
I could go on. That’s just ONE thing that ONE friend did. And it’s a BIG thing, but my whole inner circle showed up and showed out
Yes I often cry as I write (and read). And yes I resonate with both the grief of losing parents and the immense gratitude for friends who are chosen family.
I’m married to my best friend. But aside from that partnership, I consider friendship love to be just as precious and sacred as marital love.
My inner circle is a thing of beauty! And your piece was a timely reminder of that! Keep it up. I find your writing deeply resonant!
Beautiful. And I'm crying. Wishing you peace and Metta.
Incredible piece, but I hate HATE that grief hits out of nowhere sometimes. I’ve had no choice but to say “sup?!” to it some mornings, and just let the tears do their thing. Thanks for being vulnerable with us and capturing really the weight that so many of us feel even if it’s behind a “vibe.” ✨
Your mom is such a beautiful soul. I always enjoyed reading your accounts of her pithy observations.
Thank you so much Debbie. This hurt like hell to write.
I don’t even have words 😭😭😭
It’s 6am and I haven’t been able to sleep but I pray you have a soft place to land too, Jackie 🙏🏽❤️ Thinking of you 🥺
No soft places to land today Nancy.
🖤
❤️
This piece evoked so much memory and emotion! I often call my inner circle friends “my greatest intangible treasure.” Your words capture the essence of WHY I feel that way.
The things my friends did in the wake of my father’s death were so unimaginably generous, I find it hard to believe and I lived it in real time. This piece was a beautiful reminder!
Does writing usually come with this much crying? I could barely see the screen as I finished writing this. Glad you have a lattice that supports you.
Writing for me sometimes entails tons of crying. Just now, reading your piece made me reach for the Kleenex.
When my dad died, I touched down at LaGuardia, turned on my phone and had multiple urgent messages telling me to “come now” — only I’m on the tarmac in NY and live in GA.
My childhood bestie is a physician married to a mortician. When I got the call a few hrs later that he was gone, she said: Do not try to fly back home. He’s gone now. Move forward with your plans. Return in 2 days on the flight you booked. We got this!
And then she texted me a pic of a coffin. My dad was an alpha phi alpha. And it was a black and gold coffin. She told me she got it two weeks prior. Her dad and mine were college friends, so she’s known him her whole life
Her husband took care of getting my dad’s body. They took care of all funeral arrangements. And to this day have not let me pay them for any of it. I kid you not!
And on the day of the service I walked in and lost it, as if buying a casket wasn’t enough, she’d had it engraved in gold with the Greek letters alpha phi alpha and had created a tribute of massive posters on easels that showcased his love of music and Tuskegee University
Now I’m sitting and crying again as thumb type, just remembering it all.
I could go on. That’s just ONE thing that ONE friend did. And it’s a BIG thing, but my whole inner circle showed up and showed out
Yes I often cry as I write (and read). And yes I resonate with both the grief of losing parents and the immense gratitude for friends who are chosen family.
I’m married to my best friend. But aside from that partnership, I consider friendship love to be just as precious and sacred as marital love.
My inner circle is a thing of beauty! And your piece was a timely reminder of that! Keep it up. I find your writing deeply resonant!